Time for another installment of the Unraveling Grace series. It is a delight to share my online friends, and their words, with you. I am kicking myself that today’s guest and I didn’t get a picture together while we were at the Declare Conference.
Pull up a chair, grab some tea, and enjoy these sweet words from Jennifer.
Jennifer Frisbie is a loyal friend who loves road tripping, deep conversation and the sharing of good food. Wife to her high school sweetheart and mom to four adorable kids, Jennifer recently said goodbye to her career of sixteen years to embrace the home. She devours The Word, loves spending time with her family and friends and enjoys sharing words over at This Side of Grace, her own little space on the web. If you want to get on her good side, pour her a cup of tea and chat for a while.
The Gentle Rock of Grace
Not long ago, God woke me in the middle of the night to tend to my youngest. I could say that Willow’s sweet voice calling out to me in the dark was the reason my tired feet hit the floor at 2 a.m. but now I know better. God uses moments like these to speak to my heart.
It was there that I sat rocking little arms and legs in the wee hours of the morning that I found myself asking a question.
“Jennifer, are you missing the point?”
Soft, tiny hands gently touched the back of my older, sun-worn version and we rocked, rocked, rocked as I have with the others. Eleven years of rocking each one and I couldn’t help but wonder if my vision had been clouded all those eleven years.
I was tired, yes. But I was not ready for this to end.
I wasn’t ready for them to not need me when bad dreams woke them from gentle sleep or if the cup ran out of water. Or when they just didn’t want to be alone.
I wasn’t able to fully appreciate all these precious moments because they were part of a breakneck routine. One that started at 5 a.m. and didn’t stop until well after 11 p.m. And that’s not counting the middle of the night words as sleep eluded them.
There was a stirring inside me that made me realize I was prematurely mourning the loss of a piece of life I dearly loved to fully invest in something that no longer made sense.
I wasn’t present enough in the now and I was dreading the soon-to-be. (<===Click to Tweet)
He’d marked this race out for me – this gift of mothering four beautiful babies – and I was attempting to run too many other races. The corporate race held fast to my hand, pulling me along as it filled my pockets with income and my heart with guilt.
This time of cuddling those little limbs was ending. They were growing and changing, working their way out of my arms and into the world and I simply wasn’t ready for that.
But God handed me an answer in that early hour. One that filled me with fear but hope just the same. With eyelids drooping and minutes of precious sleep escaping me as they ticked by, I returned to bed knowing that a door was closing. Knowing that life was about to drastically change.
He gave me grace that night:
- Grace in the permission to stop running that other race.
- Grace in the breath of wisdom spoken to me when I most needed it.
- Grace in bringing me home, with the confidence to surrender myself fully to His plan.
I was blindsided by Paul’s words from Romans…I was standing in the middle of grace and I fully recognized it!
So as I handed in my resignation to leave behind a job I truly loved, I embraced this place of being present for them. For little arms and legs that I loved even more.
I’ll be the first to admit that this change in life has been quite the transition. Money is spent differently. Downsizing is happening. Life is much noisier all throughout the day than it ever was when I was working outside the home. And those kids eat a lot…and often!
But I’m grateful that I won’t miss another day of this grace-filled life. I watch it unravel in front of my eyes and show itself for what it is. The love of a Father who desperately wants me to steward every gift given.
For so long I could think only of managing time and money, never once realizing that maybe raising up these little people was twice as important. (<===Click to Tweet). Perhaps that’s a simple concept for you and one I should’ve grasped much earlier in life.
Because this is my grace lesson.
One that came in a quiet, little inconvenience of life that turned out to be a true blessing in disguise.
Rocking to the rhythm of grace,
- Have you ever asked yourself if you were missing the point?
- Is there a time when God showed you grace through a seemingly inconvenient experience such as this? Perhaps He showed it to you over and over again in the every day, but it took that inconvenience for you to see it clearly.
Please feel free to share your story below. I’d love to connect with you in the comments.
P.S. Read the rest of the #UnravelingGrace series here:
January: Hurts, Hope and Healing by Jennifer Watson
February: For the One Who Doubts God’s Sovereignty by Abby McDonald
March: Beating Inflating Fears by Kelly Balarie
April: When Life Unravels and You’re Barely Hanging On by Bethany Huff and Function in Chaos by Renee Griffin
May: Not that “Be Still” Thing Again! by Amy Dalke and Getting A Grip By Loosening It by Celeste Barnard
June: Choosing Stillness by Courtney Stanford and Facing Mountains of Fear by Jenni DeWitt
July: Pinning Control to the Carpet by Molly Dragert and Fears for Your Kids by Betsy DeCruz.
P.P.S. Go and read this powerful post by Jennifer on her blog.