I am NOT very cordial when I am woken up in the night.  I think I must be a light sleeper and I get down right rude when I am awakened.  I know I need to work on this!  If the kids get up in the night they usually go to Hubby’s side of the bed, because he is so much nicer and kind and coherent. 

So last night around 3am our youngest came down and said, “Mom”.  I pondered whether I should pretend to keep sleeping or answer in an overly-sleepy voice.  As I pondered (and was rude in my silence), hubby called him over.  They talked for just a bit and then youngest went back up to bed.  “What did he want?”  I asked.  “He said he just came down to give you and me hugs”.

Yes, insert the “ouch”- why couldn’t I just have mustered a bit of grace and love in the wee hours of the morning?

As I was running (the 5 miles that I needed to run but had been putting off) with Elaine this morning, I told her this story and then I realized this…

Our son had just wanted to show me love.  He actually had woken me out of a disturbing dream too (since I woke up, I stopped having that dream- grace).  How many times do I respond to God the way I responded to our son?

“What do you want?”

“Are you going to ask me to do something I don’t want to do?

“Can’t I just relax and do what I want right now?”

“Have I messed up?”

“Are you upset?”

Instead, could Jesus be trying to say,  “I love you.”

I just wanted to give you a hug.

I just wanted to show you how much I love you.

I have this love, this love that endures forever.  Here it is, reminding you of that; just that.

What a wonderful thought.

Why do I so often think God is upset with me, disappointed, ready to discipline me, frustrated?

Why do I struggle to do “perform” for Him, instead of just “be” with him, warts and all?

Thank You for this reminder God- help me not to forget.

Thank You for your love.

Psalm 136:1  Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good, His love endures forever.”

verses 12-14  “with a mighty hand and outstretched arm; His love endures forever.
                        to Him who divided the Red Sea asunder; His love endures forever.
                        and brought Israel through the midst of it; His love endures forever.

His love endures forever, with each “not yet” we get from our adoption agency (like the one today), with the moments we fall short (again) as we try and love each other, with the good, bad, ugly, and wondrous- He keeps loving, doesn’t change, holds it all.

Thank You.