Funny how sometimes when I help out with the kids’ Christmas musicals the simple songs begin to really speak to me over time. It happened again this year. Listening to the CD countless times and getting the songs stuck in my head can be annoying at times; until they hit home. The other day I found myself singing, “Lord I give you my best today” and challenging the kids to do just that as they did their school work and interacted with one another. Then the convicting words turned on me,
am I giving Him my best today? Am I giving the best gift I can give to them and Him; me.
I am a gifts person. I love getting them of course, and I really love picking out and giving gifts to others. I was in a funk yesterday and the day before. Trying to rack my brain as to why…hmm, maybe staying up late watching “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy (extended versions) in preparation for “The Hobbit” on Friday, also been really busy, we had 2 big parties in 2 days (my Dad’s surprise 70th birthday party and camp Christmas party), helping out with the choir for the Christmas musical, “3 Wise Men and a Baby”, having several close friends dealing with hard trials, and ah yes, working through the grief of not having baby #4 in our arms yet. I guess this list enlightens a bit.
As I pondered the reasons why I was down, I was challenged with these thoughts. Is His gift enough for me…do I find joy, fulfillment, and hope in Jesus; or do I “need” or want others things to make me feel good, whole, happy, etc. Am I giving Him my best each day, or just my leftovers?
Am I giving Him the best gift I can, giving Him me?
As you probably all know, our deep desire is for God to bring us “our” baby by the end of this year. I know that nothing is too hard for Him. Jeremiah 32:17 “Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you”. I know that He is in the miracle business. I know when our desires are aligned with His will, He gives them to us (in Him way and timing); good gifts (Psalm 37:4 and James 1:17).
I know He is good and that His ways are higher than our own.
Isaiah 55:9-11
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
Today I felt challenged to lay down this desire (of our baby) as an offering, entrusting Him with it, once again, and affirm that His gift, of Jesus, of Calvary, is enough for me.
I choose joy in the pain,
I choose trust in uncertainty,
I choose belief instead of giving up,
I choose to worship instead of worry,
I choose to come and bow like the wise men
And give the very best that I can give;
all of me.
I’ll end with the poignant lyrics from the Christmas musical:
“Where can I buy a gift, that’s worthy of Your love for me?
Nothing seems good enough, no gift compares with Calvary.
But still I want to give You, Lord, a gift to show You I adore;
A gift to show my love for You; here’s my gift to you this Christmas Day.
The best gift I can give is me; in my life I want you to be
All in all for eternity; Merry Christmas Jesus.
Lord, I give You my best today, help me walk with You every day.
Make me know You’re the only way; Merry Christmas Jesus
I give you my heart.”
-Pam Andrews/John M. DeVries