Proverbs 31:11 “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.”
Alyssa Wagner Photography
Several years ago, as I mentored a young lady, we discussed trust issues. She explained that her trust in God seemed to be directly dependent on her interpretation of the circumstances in her life. If something difficult, unjust, or painful happened then her level of trust went down. If something pleasant and favorable happened then her trust in God went up. She was constantly weighing whether or not she could trust God, by evaluating which way the scales tipped.
It was as if her heart was a bank and, when God did something she liked, a deposit was made into this account (or trust, if you will). If something happened that was hard to understand or painful, it was as if trust was being withdrawn. As she disclosed her checks-and-balances system with trusting God, I could relate. How often had I done a similar thing?
Trust is a big deal. It is good to ask ourselves, “Am I depositing or withdrawing trust in the eyes of my spouse with this decision or with these words?” For a long time I was inadvertently withdrawing trust from our relationship. As I got ready to go grocery shopping I told my husband when I would be back. But, here’s the thing, I was never home when I said I would be, in fact, I usually hadn’t even left the store by that time. I knew it bothered him, but I was often resentful about this.
What was the big deal anyway? Grocery shopping was free therapy, relaxing, and I was serving my family by doing it too. But then, I finally understood why my, usually laid-back, husband was frustrated. It wasn’t that I was taking too long…it was that I told him when I would return and I didn’t keep my word. He would not have cared if I stayed out longer, as long as I did not insist that I would be back earlier. Instead I should have said something like, “I don’t know when I’ll be back” or “I’m shooting for this time, but I might not make it.”
I was lying by confidently saying that I was coming back at a certain time and then never doing it. Oh sure, I did not intentionally mean to lie, but I was with my actions. I was withdrawing trust, not depositing it, and our marriage was experiencing the hidden fees and headache that come from overdrawing; discovering insufficient funds. After I finally realized how this was negatively affecting trust in our marriage, I began to reword my return-time statements.
Trust is a must. I am sure we all have our own trust issues, and probably for good reason. Trust can quickly be broken, and can take a long time to regain. However, we can absolutely trust Jesus. When bad things happen in this life, we need to remember that He hasn’t changed. He is good and His promises are true; His Word stands.
When good or bad things happen, God does not love us any more or less than He already has (when He sent His only son Jesus to live, die, and rise again- that we might be saved). His love is unconditional and steadfast and oh so trustworthy. He hurts along with us, He grants grace as we mess-up. He has given His Spirit as a deposit, a seal upon our hearts. He will come back…you can count on it, it is a trustworthy statement. Jesus will return, at just the right time.
2 Corinthians 1:21-22 “Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.”
Ephesians 1:13-14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.”
It was as if her heart was a bank and, when God did something she liked, a deposit was made into this account (or trust, if you will). If something happened that was hard to understand or painful, it was as if trust was being withdrawn. As she disclosed her checks-and-balances system with trusting God, I could relate. How often had I done a similar thing?
Trust is a big deal. It is good to ask ourselves, “Am I depositing or withdrawing trust in the eyes of my spouse with this decision or with these words?” For a long time I was inadvertently withdrawing trust from our relationship. As I got ready to go grocery shopping I told my husband when I would be back. But, here’s the thing, I was never home when I said I would be, in fact, I usually hadn’t even left the store by that time. I knew it bothered him, but I was often resentful about this.
What was the big deal anyway? Grocery shopping was free therapy, relaxing, and I was serving my family by doing it too. But then, I finally understood why my, usually laid-back, husband was frustrated. It wasn’t that I was taking too long…it was that I told him when I would return and I didn’t keep my word. He would not have cared if I stayed out longer, as long as I did not insist that I would be back earlier. Instead I should have said something like, “I don’t know when I’ll be back” or “I’m shooting for this time, but I might not make it.”
I was lying by confidently saying that I was coming back at a certain time and then never doing it. Oh sure, I did not intentionally mean to lie, but I was with my actions. I was withdrawing trust, not depositing it, and our marriage was experiencing the hidden fees and headache that come from overdrawing; discovering insufficient funds. After I finally realized how this was negatively affecting trust in our marriage, I began to reword my return-time statements.
Trust is a must. I am sure we all have our own trust issues, and probably for good reason. Trust can quickly be broken, and can take a long time to regain. However, we can absolutely trust Jesus. When bad things happen in this life, we need to remember that He hasn’t changed. He is good and His promises are true; His Word stands.
When good or bad things happen, God does not love us any more or less than He already has (when He sent His only son Jesus to live, die, and rise again- that we might be saved). His love is unconditional and steadfast and oh so trustworthy. He hurts along with us, He grants grace as we mess-up. He has given His Spirit as a deposit, a seal upon our hearts. He will come back…you can count on it, it is a trustworthy statement. Jesus will return, at just the right time.
2 Corinthians 1:21-22 “Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.”
Ephesians 1:13-14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.”
Alyssa Wagner Photography
Linking-up with the Fabulous Five today…Woman to Woman, Three Word Wednesday, Word of Life Wednesdays, #TellHisStory, and Coffee for Your Heart. I just have to say I am so proud of Meredith who made this lovely blog button for her Woman to Woman link-up…way to go friend!
True wisdom in these words. Bless you.
Thank you Shandra- blessings to you.:)
What a great question today, “”Am I depositing or withdrawing trust in the eyes of my spouse with this decision or with these words?” The comparison of our trust in our marriage to money is a bank is awesome. It makes so much sense! Thank you for sharing your story…I can related in every way. And needed to be reminded of ways I still lie without out and out lying, which would still be a lie. :- Thank you also for linking-up. Your encouragement goes farther than you realize…xoxo, Meredith (and the fab five is also awesome…how fun!)
It makes so much “cents”- ha!:) Thank you for the link-up opp., it is a blessing and so are you.
What a great perspective! I enjoyed reading. Thank you.
Thank you Kasey- glad you stopped by.:)
Beautiful, truthful and inspiring. Thank you for this today, and I thank Jesus we can trust Him, no matter what our circumstances are! Blessings to you today!
Hi Julie:), Yes, He is the Trustworthy One isn’t He? So glad He gives us grace upon grace.
I love the example you provided about your husband and grocery shopping. My husband and I are the opposite of you. I am the one who doesn’t believe him he says he is going to do something..at least in the timing he says he is going to do it but reading this helps me to put into words my frustration. Thank for making me aware that I too have missed opportunities to “deposit” trust.
Grateful that I can always trust God no matter what my circumstance.
Thank you Kimberly, Years ago I felt like God wanted me to trust my husband more- this was scary because, like me, he is a sinner. But I think it is really boils down to trusting God more and asking Him for help us to extend grace and receive it too.:)
This article is so true and hits the nail on the head in so many ways. Thank you for your honesty in sharing. What a challenge it leaves on our heart. Blessings…<><...Cathy (Your Blog is beautiful!)
Thank you Cathy- It challenges me too! Easier to type, harder to live for sure. The “Your blog is beautiful” comment meant a lot too- sometimes you wonder what people think and it helps to be encouraged and get some feedback.:)
I guess I never thought of it like that. I was always frustrated that I needed to give a time stamp to when I would return. It made me feel like I was reporting to my mom or something. But I can see that my husband was just not going to worry until the allotted time and if I didn’t show up he would send out the sled team. Thanks for another way to look at things.
Maggie- Thank you for your comments. It sounds like, from what you shared, that your husband wants to know when you’ll be back because he cares about you and your safety; that is a good thing.:)
Wow, how often I have done that myself- determining my level of trust by in God by my circumstances. He truly is the One who can always be trusted, no matter what. And being trustworthy to our spouse begins with trusting Him. Thanks for this perspective.
Abby, I do that sometimes too… “determine my level of trust in God by my circumstance.” So glad for His Word and that His promises are true and that He is indeed completely trustworthy, even when we don’t understand the “why’s”, He is who He says He is. I loved this too, “being trustworthy to our spouse begins with trusting Him,” Amen.
Katie, how many times have I done that very thing and not thought anything about it?! Convicting! I’ll work on that one. “Trust is a must.” I love it. Thanks for your great message.
The story you shared about grocery shopping really hit home. Very familiar story for me. Trust is a must indeed, and it wasn’t until we accepted Christ into our lives that I felt as though my husband and I truly experienced growth in the area of trusting each other. Thank you for sharing this encouragement with TWW. I’m so grateful you are joining us.