Sometimes your husband may give you that glazed over look as you are going on and on about the latest issue, but, he is probably listening more closely than you think. Your words matter. What you say has a powerful effect on those around you, and those closest to you.
What kind of words do you whisper in his ear?
Do you build him up or tear him down with criticism?
What kind of words do you use to greet him?
Do you speak belief about the man he is or speak doubt over his actions?
What kind of words do you use to describe him to others?
Do you trust his motives, even when his methods are less than desirable?
What kind of words do you communicate with your body language?
Do you give him the benefit or the doubt or assume the worst?
Consider your influence. You have more of it that your realize. Need more convincing about this?
The Bible provides powerful examples of women who influenced their husbands for good (like Ruth or Esther) or for evil (like Eve or Jezebel).
Are you bringing your husband good, all the days of his life, with your words and actions?
This is a tall order, impossible really, to do him good ALL the days of his life. I don’t believe that we can even come close to this without the help of the Lord. He is able to guide us and give us the gumption and strength to live this out.
ALL the days, means every day. Not just on your nice days, or your pretty days, or on the-house-is-all-picked-up days. But on the I-don’t-like-you-very-much days, and the tired days and the certain time of the month days. We are called to bring our husband good, not harm, all the days of our life.
Let’s not get discouraged by this, but view it as an opportunity to daily depend on Jesus to give us this kind of love; His love.
Because shouldn’t we both try to out-bless each other? But, even if it feels one-sided, don’t give up. Keep bringing good. Keep offering an influence that is grounded in God’s Word, not based on feelings, but on the facts of God’s life-giving words.
I confess, I was irritated today. I had a long day and was not feeling very nice towards my man. These days happen. But, in them, we have a choice, always a choice…to let the irritations cause us to turn on each other, or to take them to Jesus and ask Him to help. The enemy wants us to point the fingers, to lash out, to harm with hate. But God. He is able and ready to help. Able to make beauty from ashes. Able to help us see through the fog.
What influences you?
Who influences you?
Consider your influence.
May we build up today with words that heal and give hope.
Not candy-coated, feel-good words, but, life-giving, true words found in the Word.
At the end of “all the days”, don’t you want it to be said that you influenced those around you for good, with supernatural love and gracious patience?
Dear God,
We cannot do this without you. You are good. You bring us good, not harm or evil, all the days of our lives. Some days, more than others, we doubt your goodness. Please forgive us. Help us to influence others for good, for their good and for the good of Your Kingdom. Help us to whisper life-giving words to our husbands. Help us to speak well of him. Forgive us for falling short, again and again. Help us to spend time in Your Word and to let it shape us and influence our words and actions. Thank You for Your example and ability to help us. Thank You that Your mercies are new every morning. Thank You for grace…help us to receive it and extend it to others each day.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Wonderful words of truth and wisdom I needed to hear today, Katie. And a great reminder that always, always I’m to be do good to my man…when I feel like it or not, when I’m around him and around others, always building up. I fail often. This is a good kick in the butt to remind me I need to be more present and more aware of how I’m doing him good and not harm or the other way around so I can repent and do better. Thank you for linking up today! Always appreciate your words from the heart. Blessings, Meredith
Thank you Meredith- hard words for me to apply as well.:)
Katie, thank you for sharing this powerful post. So many truths here. Not only am I to bring my husband good all the days of my life, but how I treat my husband is also seen by my children. I want to be a Godly example that my daughter will emulate and my son will seek for a wife some day. Such big shoes to fill. I appreciate you pointing us to Jesus as our hope, and encouraging us to keep doing good! Blessings to you today!
What an opportunity we have to impress His ways upon our children. And as we fall short again and again, they learn about grace and forgiveness. So glad He is there to help us and cover us.:)
This was so beautifully written! Amen!!
Thank you Ashley.:)
Katie, thank you for this exhortation done so beautifully in love. How we need to heed the words we speak to our husbands. Thank you so much for sharing and linking up!
Thank you Rebekah for your encouragement- I was tempted to delete this several times, because I thought it might be too preachy or discouraging. I need this message just as much, or more, than those reading it.:)
Katie, this encouragement is so wonderfully expressed. Seeing your comment above, not preachy at all. As I do the Love Dare challenge God has been speaking to me in so many ways on loving my husband well and that includes how we speak to them, and also how we speak about them to others. I’m so drawn to post on marriages right now so I’m grateful we have connected. Blessings.
Thank you Beth. I just referred your blog to a lovely military wife I know while we were at swim lessons tonight.:) Grateful we have connected too. Your encouragement is such a blessing.